...Part two

Ok, having spent most of the morning talking to relatives and friends on skype, what would I do without it (Another bit of media advertising for Skype, perhaps I should write them an email, yeah right!) it's time to bring things up-to-date.

Ok, getting past the customs as I entered Turkey was a bit of a joke, to say the least. But I did OK as I kept on smiling even though I was fuming inside for most of the time. First I was directed to the window to get my visa, 14 Turkish lira, unfortunately I only had eight plus a few coins in euros on me so that meant driving back to the Bulgarian border where apparently there was a bank/exchange booth, which had slipped my attention as it was on the other side of the customs building! Then it was back to the Turkish side to get the visa. I then had to go outside to get insurance for the van. That was another sixty-eight Turkish lira and a further two euros for my bike. It was then off to the police window to check my passport to be stamped after the registration documents for the van and the bike details had been entered on to their computer system  and also that the insurance and visa stamp had been stamped on the passport. (A note here, after each process I had to go to the 'big boss' who sat at his desk openly and without shame playing some kind of mindless children's computer game! Without even looking at what or why he had to use his 'big boss stamp' it came down hard making his computer screen shudder!

After all that it was the customs men who crawled all over the van asking me what this and that was and why did I have ten guitars, a desktop computer, a laptop, three amplifiers, four enormous hifi speakers, four tool boxes, three ladders etc. etc. and it went on and on and on! I thought I was going to be there for at least the rest of the day or more.! But no, after explaining why I had all these things and assuring them I was not going to sell them as I drove through their country they told me I could proceed to the barrier. Phew, was I relieved!

I was again asked at the barrier for my passport (A note here; the ugly looking big brute, no massive big brute, behind the window would have made Mohamed Ali think twice of giving him a left hook!) after at least five minutes of waiting in the searing sun I plucked up the courage to ask him, in the nicest possible tone of voice, if there was a problem. He started spouting off in a very loud grating voice in Turkish. I stepped back at least two spaces to relieve the stink emanating out of an orifice one could a mouth but in this case it could have been a charging hippo with it's mouth wide open! He pointed at my van and point for me to reverse and park away from the barrier. He then made a telephone call and about ten minuets later a bloke in civilian clothes came towards me. He spoke English, not great English but at least I could understand him. He told me the 'big massive brute hippo man' was not satisfied I was not going to sell all my priceless possessions as I traversed Turkey. Apparently he wanted me to make a list of everything I had in the van and make a declaration that I would exit Turkey with my priceless possessions still on the van. At this point my patience was running out and I told the civilian bloke, rather a loud and agitated voice that to do that would take at least the rest of the day if not longer and if he or the 'big massive brute hippo man' would be prepared to help me remove half the vans contents then he was on. Otherwise I said 'forget it.' He shrugged his shoulders and told me to follow him. I did as I was told and off we went to the 'big boss' where a heated exchange took place. I rather think he was upset at just being shot down by an alien ship on his tail. Waving his arms in the air he waved me and the civilian dressed man out of his office. We went back to the barrier and again after a heated exchange the civilian man told me to hand my passport over to the 'big massive brute hippo man' who again stamped my passport and he raised the barrier for me with teeth gritted! Fuck you I said under my breath, with a big smile as I waved to him as I passed under the barrier :-)

At this point I'm afraid I'm going to take another break as my brain hurts, the sun is shinning and the blue clear water of the Mediterranean sea awaits to anoint my aching back.